


How do I raise the dead?

by Cherrydragon26



Series: Zombieland Saga- Alternate Universes and Stories [8]
Category: Zombieland Saga (Anime)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Just a lot of mentions of death, Pre-Canon, There is no death of any major characters, and the dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 04:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19386895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherrydragon26/pseuds/Cherrydragon26
Summary: Kouraou trying to find out how to become a necromancer in every way imaginable.





	How do I raise the dead?

"Give me every book you have on raising the dead from their graves!" Koutarou shouted, however the girl behind the counter only raised her eyes and continued to chew on her gum without moving. She coldly assessed him, while his finger was pointed at her, then shrugged and disappeared somewhere behind the big shelf of books.

Koutarou waited impatiently and when she appeared again, he exclaimed without restraint:" Have you found anything?"

"I sure hope so," the girl answered and started to show him book by book, everything she brought over, commenting along the way, while Koutarou for the first time listened quietly.

"We have the Tibetan book of the dead, How we buried our dead- Greek edition. There is also one that says Egyptian edition and Roman edition. Necromancy for dummies, So you want to raise the dead now?"

"Burial practices throughout the world, Book of the dead-translated, Necronomicon, High school of the dead.... Oh wait you don't need that one. And well that is all I can find. Hopefully this is what you were looking for. What do you want?" She asked unamused, watching Tatsumi, while he stroked his beard in thought. "I want everything!" He shouted again, and the girl shrugged and said:" If you have the money to pay it, I will wrap it all up."

+++

"Have you ever come in contact with someone who you thought was dead, but actually turned out to be alive?" Tatsumi asked the gravedigger, who suddenly froze in the middle of digging a hole and looked over his shoulder at Koutarou. "Do you mean have I ever maybe buried someone who I thought was dead, and it turned out he was alive after all?" The gravedigger asked worriedly, while his eyes scanned the surrounding like he was expecting someone to appear.

"Yes?" Koutarou asked uncertain.

"No, nope, it never happened. I never did anything like that. Nuh-hu not a chance," the gravedigger answered, looking around frantically and clutching a shovel tighter with his hands.

"Oookaay. Have you ever encountered a living dead or a walker or a zombie?" Tatsumi continued not fazed at all by his reaction.

The gravedigger only blinked at the question and said: "Uh, no I haven't. Should I expect it?" He asked, focusing on Koutarou yet again. "No, I don't think so. It was just a curious question," Koutarou said, meddling with his glasses a bit, even though it was pitch black outside.

"Oh, I see. Why do you wear sunglasses?" The gravedigger asked his work now completely forgotten in face of this weird stranger.

"For fashion. Now answer me this. Do you maybe know how to revive the one who died?"

"I know nothing about that. But maybe the undertaker knows. He always does some funny business from time to time, so I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out he dabbles in black magic too. He is your best guess I guarantee it," the gravedigger answered, looked around one more time and continued his work like normal, seemingly deciding this conversation is over.

"Thank you for your cooperation!" Koutarou said in a loud voice and marched outside the graveyard looking now for the undertaker.

+++

"What the fuck are you talking about?" The undertaker asked Koutarou who was even more pushy than before. "Do you know anything about necromancy, or about making the dead live again?"

The undertaker looked at Tatsumi like he was mad, and he didn't deem the sunglasses wearing guy with an answer. "Go away I have work to do. Don't bug me with this stupid jokes."

"But I am serious... " Tatsumi started, however before he could continue the undertaker had already walked away, leaving him all alone in the room. Because the undertaker didn't give him any help, Tatsumi scanned the whole room, ravaged a couple of drawers, looked under the carpet, but unfortunately didn't find anything useful so he packed his stuff and went away.

+++

"Do you need a coffin?"

"Uh, no I don't want to bury her, I want to revive her"

"Well you came to the wrong place then, sunglasses wearing guy. This place is only for those that had already passed on."

"You know, now that I think about it, maybe I do need a coffin"

"Why? Didn't you say you didn't have anyone to put in it. Do you want to buy it for yourself? Are you a vampire?"

"Um, no I am not. I need it for another reason I don't want to divulge right now"

"A shame then. Well anyway follow me, here I will show you what we have"

"Thank you for your cooperation!"

"Yeah, yeah you don't have to shout. No one here is dead yet, so we can hear you just fine"

+++

"Hello, this is the office of the most popular magazine about voodoo, dark magic and necromancy. Can I help you with something?" The woman asked, and Koutarou looked up at her and said:" Yes, I need to see Dr. Cecily Fan. Is she here?"

"Yes she is in her office. You go down the hall and to the left," she said cheerfully and Tatsumi thanked her and went in that direction.

When he arrived to the office he got in without knocking and said:" Good morning! My name is Tatsumi Koutarou I am here for..."

"For Gods sake, stop shouting!" Cecily shouted and Tatsumi stopped, standing in the middle of the room, looking at the doctor behind his glasses.

"What do you want?" She asked angrily, and waved her hand at the chair, showing to Koutarou he could sit. So he dramatically plopped down to the chair and pinned his gaze at her.

"I need you to show me how to resurrect someone," he said seriously, making the doctor raise her eyebrow in inquiry. "Is the one you want to revive dead?"

Tatsumi nodded, and Cecily sighed, massaged her forehead and turned around to look at him. "I will do this only if you pay me up front."

"Deal"

"All right, here is how you do it..."

+++

Eight hours later, Tatsumi finally exited her office, leaving Cecily alone with her thoughts. She was exhausted, but satisfied because she earned more than usual.

"Damn I don't believe that fool. He really thought I was serious. Why did I let him stay here for so long?" The doctor asked herself, but when she saw the money in her hands she smiled and relaxed in her chair.

"What an idiot"

**Author's Note:**

> Koutarou's search hasn't ended yet! Tune in next time, where he finally finds someone who can really help him and gets his wish granted!


End file.
